


Can’t Let Go

by Rainewritesfanfics



Series: Tsukino Hotaru [1]
Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon
Genre: Accidental Baby Acquisition, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Ikuko-Mama, Post Death Busters, Post-Battle, Sort Of, World fusion- anime and manga, baby hotaru, parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-19 17:05:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18974431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainewritesfanfics/pseuds/Rainewritesfanfics
Summary: Usagi shows up at her house the morning after the earthquake with a baby in her arms and tears in her eyes.Ikuko opens the door and takes one look at the fresh wounds and the distant, broken look in her daughter's eyes, and she envelopes Usagi in a hug.





	Can’t Let Go

**Author's Note:**

> Only Usagi was there to bear witness to Saturn’s sacrifice inside Master Pharaoh 90. She poured her soul into saving Hotaru, and when she came back with that baby nestled in her arms, nothing in the world could separate them.
> 
> (Basically I got really attached to the idea of Usagi raising Hotaru instead of the Outers.)

Usagi shows up at her house the morning after the earthquake with a baby in her arms and tears in her eyes. 

Ikuko opens the door and takes one look at the fresh wounds and the distant, broken look in her daughter's eyes, and she envelopes Usagi in a hug. 

Some time later, Usagi sits on the couch. She doesn't talk and she won't put the sleeping child down. 

Ikuko sets her daughter's favorite pink mug on the table with fresh raspberry tea steaming inside. Ikuko settles herself into the armchair and leans forward.

"Usagi-chan," she tries gently, "what happened?"

The tears begin to fall harder this time and Usagi cradles the baby closer. “Mama- I...I’m Sailor Moon.”

Ikuko stills. The ticking of the clock fills the silence where neither of them breathe. Finally, Ikuko sighs. “I suspected you might be. But I didn’t want it to be true.”

Usagi’s lip wobbles, but she keeps her sobs quiet and repressed so she doesn’t disturb the baby. “I’m sorry, Mama. I’m so sorry.”

Ikuko crosses the space between them in an instant. She wipes away the tears before they can drip onto the sleeping infant. 

“Usagi, you don’t have to be sorry. It’s not the path any parent would wish for their child, but I need you to know that I love you, and I’m proud of you. Always.” Ikuko leans over and kisses the crescent-shaped scab in the center of Usagi’s forehead. 

After the tears have subsided, Ikuko sits beside Usagi on the couch. There is still so much yet to be spoken, and it hangs in the air like humidity in August. 

Ikuko reaches one finger out and gently rubs the petal-soft cheek of the baby. “Who is this little one?”

Usagi’s face contorts, but she doesn’t cry again. “This is Hotaru-chan.” Usagi’s lip wobbles. “She saved my life, and I saved hers. Her family is gone. She’s all alone now, but I won’t let her be.” Usagi’s eyes grow distant, and Ikuko gets the feeling this will be the first of many times where she feels unable to help her daughter with the trauma that comes with the mantle of Sailor Moon. 

“I can’t, Mama. I can’t let her be alone again.” Usagi forces a smile when Hotaru’s violet eyes blink open. Hotaru’s tiny lips part in a big yawn before she snuggles back into Usagi’s arms. “I won’t let her go. I just- I feel it in my soul. I have to raise her.”

Ikuko stares at the rain that trickles down the window pane for a long minute. Usagi is so young. Too young for this.

Ikuko feels the indignation coursing through her veins with every heartbeat. In her mind she screams at the universe, at the gods, at everything for forcing her little girl to grow up like this.

But as quickly as the anger rose, it sinks. Ikuko takes a long breath in through her nose before turning back to look at the children on her couch.

“Usagi, raising a child is a big responsibility.”

She can see Usagi flinching. Already expecting a fight. It breaks Ikuko’s heart.

Ikuko gently squeezes Usagi’s shoulder. “That’s why you don’t have to do it alone.”

Usagi gasps, her head lifting. Hotaru coos happily, tugging on Usagi’s pigtail.

“Really?”

“Really.”

Ikuko gently unwinds Hotaru’s hand from Usagi’s hair. Finally, she notices that the shadow on Usagi’s neck is a hand-shaped bruise. The anger threatens to rise again, but Ikuko pushes it down. 

“I’ll explain everything to your father tonight. And we’ll explain it to your brother.” Ikuko can already feel a headache coming on, but she smiles softly anyway. “I won’t lie to you, Usagi. This will be a difficult path. Parenting, even when planned, is a challenge. You’re going to have to make sacrifices. And it will be even more challenging with your role as Sailor Moon.”

“I know.” Usagi’s tone is resolute. In that moment, Ikuko can see the guardian of the city in her little girl who still picks the carrots out of her veggies at dinner. She can see a tired sort of wisdom, and for the first time, Ikuko considers that maybe her daughter is an old soul. 

Usagi continues as she plays with Hotaru, “I know it will be hard, but I need to do this. I promised.”

Ikuko sighs, blowing her bangs out of her face. “We’re going to need a birth certificate and papers for her. I’m assuming you don’t have any.”

Usagi bites her lip, “Well....even if I did, they wouldn’t work very well. Since Hotaru was born 12 years ago. I think I know someone who can get us a birth certificate, though.”

Ikuko blinks. Her mouth opens and closes several times. “You know what, we’ll circle back to all of that later. Tomorrow, after you’ve had time to sleep and when those bruises are less purple, I’m going to need the full story.” 

Ikuko stands and begins heading for the kitchen. She pokes her head into the fridge just as Usagi reaches the room’s threshold. “I’m going to run to the store and pick up some baby essentials and a lot of bandages.”

Grabbing her purse from the counter, Ikuko turns to Usagi. “You should try to shower and change out of those clothes. I’ll treat your wounds when I get back.”

Usagi shakes her head. “No, I have to stay with Hotaru.”

“Usagi, let me watch her for a bit. You need rest. You’re in no shape to watch a baby.”

She can see the hesitation in those blue eyes. Ikuko hates to think what kind of betrayal Usagi must have endured to have eyes like those.

Thinking back to Usagi’s childhood, Ikuko sticks her pinky finger out, wondering if the old method will still placate her daughter 10 years later. “Usagi. Look at me, sweetheart. I’ll bring her back home with me. I promise.”

After a moment, Usagi’s scraped hand reaches out and she wraps her dirt-caked finger around her mother’s. 

Softly, they sing the accompanying nursery rhyme, which Hotaru seems to enjoy.

Finally, Usagi steps back and offers Hotaru to her mother. 

Hotaru fusses for a moment at the loss of Usagi’s warmth, but she calms as soon as Ikuko strokes her cheek. 

Usagi kisses Hotaru’s forehead. “I’ll see you soon.”

Hotaru gurgles and tries to draw Usagi’s finger into her mouth. 

Usagi giggles. “You don’t want to eat that, it’s dirty,” she says gently booping Hotaru’s nose instead.

Ikuko leans over to press a kiss of her own to the crown of Usagi’s hair.

“We’ll be home soon. Go take a shower and then soak in some epsom salt, okay.”

Usagi smiles, gently swatting at Ikuko’s hand as it reaches to tug the elastic from her buns. “Yes, Mama.”

Ikuko is at the front door, slipping on her well-worn shoes when Usagi timidly adds, “Thank you.”

A small chuckle escapes Ikuko. “Well, I did always want grandchildren. This is just several years earlier than I expected.” Usagi blushes, and Ikuko says, “Though I have to say this one is absolutely adorable.”

Usagi thinks of Chibiusa who is staying with Mamoru for the night. As she waves goodbye to her mother, she decides that story is for another time. 

For now, she slides down the wall in the hallway and ends up falling asleep on the carpet near the bathroom door. 

When Luna finds her a few minutes later, Usagi is already snoring.

**Author's Note:**

> Stay tuned in case I ever get around to writing more of this AU!


End file.
